Wisehubby and I had been TTC for a while and, on a hunch, discovered his severe male factor infertility--basically, he has an army of mutant sperm. I'm also mutant; I have a clotting disorder: Factor V. We were on the IVF with ICSI track, and I gave birth to a beautiful boy after IVF #2. We've tried varicocele repair, too--ugh. Our frozen embyro transfer ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks 1 day. We don't know where the quest will take us from here.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Selective Jealousy OR why I hate some pregnant women and not others

I almost had a meltdown at my cousin's baby shower on Saturday. Bitch had the nerve to get pregnant and invite me to her baby shower (I do actually love my cousin. I'm just in my crazy place).  I struggled just to pass around the gifts without snickering along with my awesome grandma, who couldn't understand why someone would need a book about breastfeeding. Grandma Wiselady raised six babies; she knows!  The only thing that kept me from throwing an epic, pre-school style fit was that my 15-month-old niece kept running up to me to say, "Hey Tia!" and giving me hugs.

Side note: I am incredibly proud of my gifted, sweet, and easy going niece and goddaughter. No jealousy there!

Anyway, I eat lunch every day with a work colleague and her husband, who are expecting their first in December. Occasionally, I feel a little pang of jealousy, but mostly I am happy and excited for them. They're both so cute, and their baby will be adorable.

Why does it seem that I am uncontrollably, unpredictably jealous? I'm not quite sure. Thoughts?

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